Lesson 59 - Contemplation

It felt like forever since I had my last lesson when in actuality, it has only been 2 weeks. I suppose it is more like a practise of time management now that lessons are fortnightly instead of weekly. With weekly, it felt like I had less time to practise before the next class was due and I would be scrambling to make sure I had practised enough to be prepared for whatever Deryn might throw at me. But fortnightly, slack happens if I'm not paying attention.

I suppose last week was a bit different. My best friend, my old cat companion, Tigger, passed away exactly one week ago. I was never much a cat person nor a pet person, really, having not allowed any when I was growing up. Tigger was my very first and he has taught me to be a better and more patient person. He has been a vital part of me for a good 8 years but it still feels far too short. There were moments when I wavered to give up the cello; when memories of him being serenaded to sleep during practise hours at home became too painful to ignore. He would stir ever so slightly if my intonation suffered or any aspects of cello techniques were faltering and I knew I had a good practise session when it met Tigger's expectations.

I hadn't picked up the cello since that awful day. The other half and I both went back to London to spend time away from here to be with family and have only just returned yesterday. Last night I decided enough was enough and went into the practise room. I poured everything out on to the cello.

I have not heard her sing like that. Ever. I don't know if it was due to grief or just playing without fear but it was different. I think I managed a few hours before literally collapsing from all the emotions. Is this what they mean by music therapy? Strangely, I felt no pain in my back or shoulders. I'm guessing this was due to focusing mostly on the mental anguish.

Today's lesson felt a little surreal but it was much needed and mostly focused on music theory, specifically intervals. Music is a set of intervals and knowing those intervals well will reveal the geography of the fingerboard. Deryn spent some time quizzing me about the notes found on various neck positions and it was clear I needed more time spent on this aspect of the cello.

I remember what Deryn said later which turned on a lightbulb in my head about the common/universal fingering issue I had for playing scales. The easy bit is applying the method, the hard bit is learning the actual notes and positions during play. Well, darn.